OK- so here is my post and I'm using it to clear my mind since I can't release my anxiety on any tangible people right now!
I got home from work last night and ate with my family before getting ready to head to the gym! Once again I could not get myself to get this done at 5 am which seems to be becoming a habit the last couple of weeks! Anyway, my husband has been incredibly supportive and has been shuffling all the kids around for their evening activities so I can get my runs etc. done. He took off with all the kids for hockey and I paid some bills before heading out to the gym. (I would say about 75 percent of the conversations Joe and I have lately are through text message. I have turned into a 13 year old kid and can txt about 100 words a minute!!) Anyway, on the way to the gym, I was feeling a little guilty and I sent him a VERY inappropriate text. (Not really inappropriate in the sense that we've been married for 12 years and he's MY husband and I can write whatever I want, but inappropriate in the sense that it was meant only for his eyes!) Here is the response I got. "Ickkk Mom its Ryan my phone is dead" Joe had given her his phone since she was at a different rink and her's was dead.
Now let me tell you without elaborating that you would most definitely not want your 12 year old daughter to see this message! Her or her 15 friends who were probably with her. I honestly almost went off the road and I could feel my throat close off.
Moving ahead. I ran 10 miles at the gym with a two mile warmup, 5 miles @ 7:13, 2 easy miles and the final mile @ 6:44. This went pretty well and I don't remember a minute of it as my mind was racing the entire time. After the treadmill I did a complete upper body weight cycle and a 20 minute ab workout. My friends Jess and Amanda had shown up at the gym and were on the bikes so I joined them and biked for another 35 minutes. I was bound and determined to stay at the gym until it closed to be certain my kids were all in bed before I got home. (I really need to talk about this with Ryan but like a coward I totally wanted to avoid the situation until at least the next day) It is now the next day-I have not slept and I'm still milling this over in my head and wondering how many people actually saw this message. Joe seems to find some humor in this whole situation! Typical male!
Anyway-my project after work today is to discuss this with Ryan and then run 100 miles outside in 20 mph winds and subzero temps to punish myself for my carelessness. My husband will also be running 100 miles for letting Ryan use his phone!!!!!! The joys of life and parenting! One day when she is 25 this will be funny and make a good story! Now-UGHHHHHH!!