Monday, November 30, 2009

Puke and Orgasms!

I was puked on by a 12 year old boy at work today. Not just a little bit, A LOT. Apparently, he and the nitrous don’t mix well. This is the 2nd time this has happened to me but this time it was all over! He literally sat up in the chair and leaned into my lap! It is hard enough to clean up after your own sick kids. I honestly thought I might throw up right back at him. I had a lab coat on and managed to salvage my longsleeve shirt underneath but my scrub pants were soaked and just the smell of me made me gag. Fortunately, I had a pair of jeans in my car for after work so I spent the rest of the day working in them.

After work, I headed to the arena where I met my husband with the kids. Reese did not have practice because it was picture night and Ryan didn’t have practice until 8:00 p.m. so we were able to sit together at a table at the rink and eat concession stand food for supper while my son skated. So, here is where the story begins. We are all sitting at this table and my middle child Reese has her homework out. (She is missing school half of Thursday and Friday for hockey so her teacher had given her some advance homework.) On the to-do list was reading Chapter 2 of her science book. I told her to read out loud while we were eating and I would quiz her on the vocab words when she was done. She starts reading. “An ORGASM is any living system…” Now, I’m sure she is not the only kid who has ever made this mistake but after my highly stressful day I found this to be the funniest thing I had ever heard and actually spit food across the table. My husband shot me a dirty look but I could tell he also found this quite humorous. This little 9 year old girl looks at me with the most puzzled look on her face and says, “What’s so funny?” I respond, “Nothing honey, keep reading.” I thought this was a onetime occurrence and we could just continue on with the reading. NOOO-she repeated it again in the next sentence. Seriously, I could not contain myself!! I was almost rolling out of my chair. At this point, I looked over at my almost 12 year old daughter and noticed she was also beet red and trying desperately not to laugh. (Initially, I wasn’t sure if she knew what this meant since I conveniently left this part out when we discussed the Facts of Life.) It only took a minute to realize that she DEFINITELY knew what this meant and found it as funny as I did. Joe couldn’t hold it in any longer either and our whole table was in roaring hysterics. Meanwhile my little 9 year old is near tears because we can’t stop laughing and she has no idea why! I managed to smooth things over but this is definitely a story that she will be teased about when she’s older!!!

I hauled my *ss out of bed this morning and managed 5 miles on the treadmill before work. We are in a winter storm watch with 30 mph winds and a projected 9 inches of snow. I will have to tackle the treadmill again tomorrow and then hopefully get outside on Wednesday and Thursday. I have to travel for hockey this weekend with my middle daughter and obviously our team manager does not exercise because our hotel has no fitness equipment whatsoever. I’m hoping it is decent enough to get outside for a bit. I’m going to do my pushup/pullup/situp routine now. I will likely skip it tomorrow as I’m hoping to do 8 miles in the morning and then take the kids to the high school game after work. I don’t work on Wednesday so maybe I will drag out another P90X video…..maybe...

20 comments:

Genesis said...

i threw up a little just reading the first part. i wudda called it a day and sat in the tub trying to scrub the living heck out my legs. you're such a trooper.

omg, your daughter is hilarious. thats a story you could tell when she has a date come over...lol.

TMB said...

OMG - Funniest story ever! I cannot stop laughing!

Meg Runs said...

Ok, I just read your blog out loud to my husband and he was dying! I've been thrown up on a few times and it isn't nice at all. I just can't get the smell out of my nose!
So, how old will she need to be when you can start teasing her about this?! Just wondering...50?

Lisa said...

OMG, that is so disgusting. I can barely handle my own kids' puke and to be puked on my someone else, so disgustingly gross.

Totally hilarious about your daughter. You'll need to remind her of that when she is older lol.

Rookie on the Run said...

You're right about it being a common mistake... I used to teach 3rd & 4th grade. I used to break out in a sweat, afraid that one of the students would know enough to laugh. None of them did, but I used to laugh to myself. I would have totally lost it in your situation!

You SO needed that laughter after being barfed on! :p

Jill said...

That is hysterical about your daughter. I remember my daughter picking up a card at Hallmark once when she was like 6 and it has the word S E X on it and she picks it up as we were lookng for a 6-year old card: look Mommy, it's a card for someone 6, let's get it for (neighbor). Um...let's pick another, sweetie!

Gross on the puke. I think I would have had to call it a day, too. Yuck! I had a kid barf on my shoes at school one day...yeah, had to go home and take a sick day!

robinbb said...

I am hungry right now, so empty stomach, and your first story seriously made me gag. UGH! I hate throw up so bad!

And your daughter, that is the cutest story. I seriously am so scared of my girls growing up and all the talks we have to have....12 years old, oh my that isn't too far out.

lindsay said...

hahaha! too funny :) glad it turned into a funny moment/memory for the family and not an embarrassment.

gross about the patient! blech.

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

That is too funny.. Your blog post title will get you some FUN?? hits on your site.. Hehehe

Melissa said...

puke-gross your kid-hilarious!!!

You are kicking butt with the running! I am so amazed! I hate my treadmill!

Morgan said...

1. I don't know how anyone deals with puke, your own, your kids, or otherwise. Yuck! Glad you had spare clothes!!!

2. I have the humor of a 13 year old boy and would have DIED laughing at that! LOL!

TX Runner Mom said...

Okay, I went from grossed out (I woulda thrown up on him, lol) to laughing out loud with that post! Hilarious!

Stacy said...

That is to funny!!!!! I would be peeing in my pants if I was there and hearing it not once, but twice! LOL

runningcommentaries said...

Ok that is absolutely hysterically funny. I'd be dying if I were you!

Katie said...

Being vomited on...ewww. I hate vomit. Kaylee was nine months old the first time she had a vomiting bout. Poor kid threw up on my shoulder for almost five hours!

That's such a cute story about your daughter! Seriously though, you can't tell it when she has a date come over! That would be too mean! ;)

Oh, and it makes me so mad when I have to stay at a hotel with no workout room! I hope the weather holds out for you!

Suzy said...

Kids love asking science teachers 'what is the difference between an organism and an orgasm?' The hard part is keeping a straight face when answering.

Katie A. said...

You are a better woman than me! I would HAVE totally thrown right up on that kid! I have the worst gag reflexes! I gagged as I read this! Did he or the mom/dad even appologize?

And that is a fab story about your little one! But then again, like Morgan, my humor is quite similar to that of a 13 year old boy! Good luck this week! :)

Janice {Run Far} said...

nasty nasty nasty- and funny funny funny-

Michelle said...

Wow, you certainly have me beat - I can't complain anymore about my thermometer when you have snow and 17 degrees!

The daughter story is hilarious! The puke - ewwww!

RunnerGirl said...

Love the story about your daughter! One of the 7th graders where I teach gave an entire science presentation last year saying "orgasm" instead of "organism" every single time :)